First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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