My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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