Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
