I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
