How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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