he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
