too bad you live with your parents still
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
