Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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