There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
