dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
