I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
