Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
