Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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