so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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