I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
