I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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