Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
