Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
