Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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