Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
