he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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