i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
