Plan B is the new Plan A
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
