u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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