One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
