Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
