My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
