Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You dont lie about slip and slides
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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