he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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