Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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