i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
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