new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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