hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
