if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
