I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
