im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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