drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Text me some of your sweat
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