SEEEEXXX PLEASE
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
