Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
