Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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