Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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