Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
