Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
