3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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