I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
