Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
