I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
