but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
