oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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