That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
