How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
