that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
