wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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