it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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