Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
